A teenager’s drinking and drug use had reached crisis levels. His mother was understandably upset. As he went through treatment and some tough decisions about where and how to live his life, his mother’s anxiety did not ease.
Addiction is a years-long, even a life-long process. The son was doing well. He finished high school and college, started a career. His recovery was going well. He was safe. His mother knew that.
But his mother was still dealing with fears, depression and emotional pain that just would not go away.
With the help of others, she began to realize her reactions were far beyond rational considering her son’s recovery. Her relationship with her son and her husband was threatened by her fears. After years of suffering, she started looking inside herself to find where the unending emotional pain was coming from.
It took a lot of work to find the cause. Her son’s addiction crisis as a teenager reopened her own crisis as a teenager. She had left a bad family situation at age 17. There was no healthy transition from childhood to adulthood. It was abrupt – and no one seemed to care that she had left
.
She got on with the business of living, leaving the past behind. But her son’s crisis had triggered memories of her own crisis. When she saw that the pain was coming from inside herself, she was able to start the process of healing.
Often, a diagnosis may seem obvious – an immediate family crisis, for example. But when the crisis is over and the pain is still there, it is time to seek the real diagnosis and begin the work of recovery.
